if i change my hair every weekend would you grow tired of the smell of bleach.
i could be your "ramona" until my rollerskates start to make my heels bleed.
if i was "summer" or if i was "autumn" would you write me letters for 500 days.
would you keep me warm for the winter.
would you leave me to flicker when my neon glow begins to fade.
meet me on a beach when we forget each other's names.
we can learn to hate each other again.
i'm a pixie pipe dream.
i'm only charming until the end of the screenplay.
you're the ring that turns my fingers black.
you tarnish me.
i'm just a smudge on your surreality.
you tell me i'm a cliche.
isn't that what you wanted anyway.
Track Name: Endora, IA
the world will never stop turning for you.
so what you say will be ignored.
everyone will keep carrying on whether you are here or not.
so keep moving on.
make room for those in charge.
the wealthy and the rich.
you're just part of their machine.
a pawn. a cog. a stitch.
the world could be a stage but you would only play a stagehand.
just a shadow behind the scenes of a decision maker's promised land.
we look forward to a happy ending that we can never prove exists.
forever the unwavering pessimist.
when everything goes wrong i'll still be here standing strong with nothing left to lose but the clothes on my back and my secondhand blues.
i'm used to being used.
i come home and scrape the shit off of my shoes just to leave and love again to hear "we're better off as friends".
so i'll back off and get out of the house.
i'll meet new people and set myself on fire.
i'm still suceptible to desire with nothing supporting my steadfast decline.
i pushed you away. out of sight; out of mind.
you were always right that one day we would drift and i'd never miss a chance to disparage what was made by my own hands.
do you understand.
because if everybody i meet is as carcinogenic as you i'd rather die alone.
one more broken heart means another part of me gone and i've been wasting away for far too fucking long.
you made me who i am and i resent the fact that i fell so deep in love when it was too late to turn back.
so for every bitter stanza and every acerbic verse i hope you take the time to remember me and who i used to be.
for better or for worse.
Track Name: Inertia
Fate lies in inertia
This head is just collecting dust
Caught in webs, strung to writhe
Ghosts haunt my nostalgia
Their spirits are craving a lust
A yearning for someone to reciprocate their touch
You're not broke beyond repair
You just need direction
We'd like to try and fix you
With your administration, we'd like to try and fix you
Track Name: Crooked Teeth
you said smile pretty for the camera but keep your mouth shut.
nobody wants to see your crooked teeth.
well, i've got a mouth on me but it's not yours to use.
i'm not your muse and i never will be.
if you've got nothing to say say it yourself.
am i making you uncomfortable?
Track Name: Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them
i don't reach out in the dark anymore.
years later and i still pick away at the scabs on my hands.
give me time beloved, my eyes can't adjust to the light.
i have to drag myself away from the night where our hands first met in your basement.
you're every glass bottle that i smashed into the pavement.
i'd be lying if i told myself i wouldn't sink your shards back into my skin.
i carry creased letters in my pockets in case i ever see you again.
Track Name: The Water/The Womb
didn't have time or patience to learn how to be soft.
you use your children as bookends without using their names.
didn't have time or patience to wait for your babies to catch up.
your head's caught in a science textbook.
proper pronouns are just too much.
no patience for prejudice. no time for your hate. no patience for prejudice. no time for you.
the tattoos on your fingers tell of a name you refuse to have sworn in.
you have to scrape off the water of the womb to be happy in your own skin.
you deserve so much love, my friend.
you don't have to find it in a dusty picture frame.
don't let the silence shake you.
don't let their grey hearts fill you with shame.
they bite their nails when you paint your lips and carry a hammer on your toolbelt.
it makes them nervous.
they can't fit you onto a list.
their palms sweat when you braid your hair and show up late on your skateboard.
you're so much bigger than this.
i'll wait up if your dad's too far for a hand to hold.
i won't let you slip.
you can trip if you want to.
Track Name: Too Fragile
deny what i've been through and who i am because it's hard to understand.
i'll deny your advances, shoot down glances and smite you where you stand.
i got so quiet.
you waited by the wayside for me to fall into your lap.
you spoke in tongues; your words true form shackled to your naked chest.
i can't be human. my skin is porcelain. i'm too fragile to fuck. and i don't want to be undressed.
then you got quiet.
your hands rung themselves to bone.
your intentions were true.
you could be everything i need but i see right through you.